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Write a memorial card: 30 stylish ways to offer condolences
When a loved one dies, it is common practice to express compassion to loved ones for the loss. By writing a memorial card, you are offering condolences in writing. It is not always easy to find appropriate words for this sad situation. How do you write a memorial card? Other things are also unclear: When is the right time for it? How do you address a memorial card? We provide numerous examples of stylish condolences and practical tips on how to write a memorial card ...
➠ Content: This is what awaits you
➠ Content: This is what awaits you
What is a memorial card?
There are several ways to express sympathy for the bereaved of a deceased person. Mourning cards count among the written condolences. They differ from a letter of condolence only in the form.
A letter of condolence is usually a longer letter. It is therefore also referred to synonymously as "condolence letter" or "memorial letter". A mourning card, on the other hand, is a black and white, foldable folded card (as opposed to one-piece postcards). Folded cards are written on the inside and put in an envelope for shipping. This gives them a formal character. They are especially common for special occasions such as weddings, births or deaths.
When do you write a memorial card?
You should express your sympathy immediately. Regardless of whether your neighbor has passed away, the mother of a friend or the partner of a colleague: Anyone who expresses condolences in writing wants to give consolation and help over the first pain and shock of the person concerned. The shock is particularly deep in the early days. If days or even weeks pass before you write a grief card, you may have the opposite effect: wounds will be torn open again. The expression of condolences lets you relive the loss.
How do you wish condolences in writing?
When writing a memorial card, the most important thing is that you phrase it personally. Of course, there is nothing wrong with writing something like: "My sincere condolences on the loss of your husband / mother / ... - Your Max Mustermann". But such a mourning card is rather clichéd. It does not convey the writer's personal feelings. If there is only little connection to the deceased, it can fit - if there is a greater connection, it should be more individual and emotional.
In addition, you should pay attention to the following when writing a memorial card:
- Write by hand
Do not write a memorial card digitally or type it on a computer. It is a sign of respect and much more personal when you handwrite the card.
- Take your time
It is difficult to write a memorial card between the door and the hinge. When you're pressed for time, the right words won't come up. You should therefore write the memorial card in a quiet moment. Think beforehand: what connects you with the deceased? How do you feel at the moment?
- Formulate the memorial card in advance
To avoid mistakes, you can write a first draft on a piece of paper. In this way you can also check again whether you are expressing your sympathy appropriately.
- Avoid advice
Grief is something very personal. Even if you think you know how the person is doing: Avoid well-intentioned advice such as "Time heals all wounds". Such phrases seem loveless - and they don’t give comfort either.
Writing a memorial card: structure and examples
You set up a grief card according to the following pattern:
- Personal reference
- Offer to support
- Future wishes
We have put together numerous examples and possible formulations for the individual sections in the following overview:
The closer you feel connected to the relatives and the better you knew the deceased, the more personal you can formulate:
- "Dear Martina / Thomas"
- "Dear Mrs. / Dear Mr. Mustermann"
- "Dear Mustermann family"
- "Dear Ms. / Dear Mr. Mustermann"
- "Dear Mustermann family"
- "Dear mourning family"
Most people have a hard time getting started when they write a memorial card. There are two tricks you can use to overcome writing inhibitions. You can use a stylish saying as an introduction to lead from there to your condolence. Another way is to describe the circumstances and your feelings more closely when you learned about the death of the deceased:
- "I am still appalled by the news of your husband's death."
- "The news of your mother's death hit me in the core."
- “I struggle for words. I haven't come up with anything suitable since I heard of Paul's death. "
- "We couldn't believe it when Petra told us about the sudden death of your wife."
- "It was with great dismay that I learned of the tragic death of your son."
At this point, express your sympathy and sadness about the loss:
- "On the death of your husband, I would like to express my deepest condolences to you."
- "My thoughts are with you at this difficult time."
- "We are infinitely sad about the loss of your dear mother."
- "Our heartfelt and sincere condolences on the death of your father."
- "Be assured of our sympathy and condolences in this difficult hour."
As mentioned, empty phrases should be avoided if possible. This works even better if you write a personal reference on the memorial card. How did you and the deceased relate to each other, how did you get to know each other? A few words of this kind are possible even with casual acquaintances. They make the difference between a form and sincere condolences:
- "I still remember how you moved in next door and how we barbecued together for the first time."
- "I got to know Paul in my first year as a trainee as a calm but friendly colleague."
- “Unfortunately we only worked together for the duration of the project. But I will never forget that, because Sabine's dry sense of humor was always refreshing in the sometimes difficult situations. "
- “Martin's knowledge of the club's history was impressive. Everyone listened with fascination when he talked about the beginnings. "
- "Even after retirement, the contact did not break off, your husband was a welcome guest at the summer party."
Offer to support
If a loved one has died, the relatives are usually overwhelmed with the situation. Offer your help. That can be the shoulder to cry on with close friends or relatives or very practical support in everyday life. Sometimes small children have to be looked after, various errands done - all of this in addition to organizing a memorial service and funeral. It is best to repeat your offer personally, as the bereaved often shy away from asking for help.
- "Do not hesitate to speak to me if you need help."
- "I am happy to take over the shopping or other errands for you."
- "I don't mind taking your dog for a walk."
- "If you need help during this difficult time, I am always there."
- "No matter whether you need a shoulder to cry on or support in everyday life: give me a sign."
Even if you don't put it so boldly: Of course, life goes on after a bereavement. With just a few words, you can signal comfort and confidence:
- "We wish you a lot of strength in this difficult time."
- "For this time of mourning, I wish you the strength you need to come to terms with death and the confidence to look hopefully into the future."
- “This time is marked by great sadness. Nevertheless, I hope that you will find consolation in the many wonderful memories. "
- “Take the time you need to grieve. I hope that you will draw much strength and hope from the support of your friends. "
- “I wish you can look back with gratitude on the many wonderful memories. May they give you the strength and confidence for a hopeful future. "
Finally, put a greeting appropriate to the occasion and your signature under the memorial card:
- "Remember in silent."
- "We mourn with you."
- "In deep sorrow."
- "My sincere condolences."
- With sincere condolences.
Example of a complete grief card
I can hardly put into words how incredibly sad the news of your husband's death made me. My thoughts are with you, even if I can only guess your pain and grief.
In this unspeakably difficult time, I would like to express my sincere and heartfelt condolences to you. I will never forget your husband's humor and his selfless willingness to help.
If I can do something for you, to support you or even to be there, please let me know at any time. You can reach me day and night. From the bottom of my heart I wish you comfort and strength.
my sincere condolences
Writing a memorial card: sayings and quotes
On a mourning card, in addition to the text, there are often pious sayings of remembrance and remembrance. Whether you decide on a saying or a quote: We have listed a selection of formulations and options:
- "The bonds of love are not severed with death." (Thomas Mann)
- “Thank you for the path that you have taken with us. Thanks for the hand that has been so helpful to us. Thank you for being there. "(Rainer Maria Rilke)
- "Death is not the end, but another door."
- "We go as we came,
with nothing but us alone.
The world - these are just names.
Being remains a miracle. "
- "The time has come to let go of your hand - but never the person."
- "Memory is a window through which I can see you whenever I want."
- "Separation is our lot, reunion is our hope.
As bitter as death is, love cannot separate it. "(Augustine)
- "Far from the eye, forever close to the heart."
- “If you are looking for me, look in your hearts. If I have found a place to stay there, I will live on in you. ”(Rainer Maria Rilke)
- "The most beautiful thing a person can leave behind is a smile on the face of those who think of him."
Mourning cards as pictures
You can write and send a memorial card in the classic way on beautiful stationery. Cards with matching motifs, which can be labeled on the back, are also possible. We have put together a few examples for you:
Mourning cards without text
Mourning cards with text
How do you address a memorial card?
Many are unsure how to label the envelope of a memorial card. It used to be common to write “To the Mourning House Mustermann” as the address. It is now out of date. When in doubt, address a memorial card exactly as you would address another letter:
- first name Last Name
- Street, house number
- Postal code city
If you do not want to address just one person, but also want to address your bereavement card to the entire family, address accordingly:
- Mustermann family
- Street, house number
- Postal code city
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