Who is the Fifth Harmony Manager
Harmony addiction: It doesn't always have to be harmonious
Hardly anyone likes confrontations, but most people understand that it is not always completely without disagreements, arguments and arguments. Different with Harmony addiction. Those who are addicted to harmony simply cannot deal with conflicts and differences and therefore try to avoid them by all means. That might sound like a good thing at first, after all, you always need someone who can bring arguments back together, smooth things over and calm the minds. The harmony addiction goes, however beyond the healthy level. Because discussions are not automatically bad, but sometimes exactly the right way. We explain what harmony addiction is, where it comes from and why it is sometimes better if everything is not always just peace, joy, pancakes ...
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What is harmony addiction anyway?
Almost all people are in need of harmony. We are social beings, like to surround ourselves with other people, want to belong to a group, share our views and opinions with others, be understood and generally feel comfortable in our social environment. Harmony addiction, on the other hand, is an extreme form and goes a whole step further. Anyone who suffers from harmony addiction feels a real one inner urge for friendliness, harmony, freedom from conflict and unity in his environment.
Classically, an addiction to harmony shows up in an argument, for example instinctively to flee. Regardless of whether you are actually involved in the dispute or whether two other parties get into a fight. Even the thought of arguments, a bad mood, maybe even screaming, frustration and anger at the other make harmony addicts run away.
But it doesn't stop there. Harmony addiction also means Avoid disputes at every possible opportunity. Very rigorous and preventive. Motto: Everything is fine with me, the main thing is that we agree and everything stays harmonious.
Whether you, a colleague, a friend or someone in your family is addicted to harmony cannot always be clearly stated. The boundaries between an increased need for harmony and a real addiction to harmony are difficult to draw. There are, however some symptomsthat you can pay attention to - especially when these pile up.
- You feel uncomfortable in arguments - no matter who is arguing.
- You have a keen sense of an impending conflict.
- They fear that any quarrel could tear a group apart.
- If there is an argument, withdraw and leave the situation.
- You never express criticism of others.
- You never want to be criticized by others.
- You admit mistakes even if you have not made them.
- You are ready to agree with others just to avoid conflict.
Individual points on this list probably apply to most people, so you should only pay attention when they appear in total or the behavior is clearly determined and also impaired by the harmony addiction.
Where does the harmony addiction come from?
Discussions and arguments are part of living together. It is only natural that not everyone can always agree. This is particularly evident in professional life. Many different personalities and also views mix together in a team that tries to get his way and a conflict threatens. Opinions and arguments are exchanged, sometimes there can also be arguments, but in the end it is suitable - or all parties involved agree that no agreement will be reached.
As a rule, everything is not so wild. But then what are they Causes of Harmony Addiction? In some special cases it may be a violent argument with great emotions that has changed one's attitude. Often, however, the reasons are deeper.
That is what harmony addiction is all about Fear of rejection and also profound fear of loss. Those who are addicted to harmony are afraid of being excluded from a group as a result of the arguments. So the attempt is always made to please everyone else so as not to offend or attract negative attention anywhere. People who are addicted to harmony do not want to be rejected and therefore cannot deal with the situation.
This fear is then carried over to the conflicts between others. For example, there can also be a Childhood experience stuck where they saw their parents split up after an argument. In order not to have to relive the traumatic experience, any argument is nipped in the bud. The idea behind it is actually quite simple: As long as no one argue, everyone is happy and nothing changes in the positive atmosphere.
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The dangers of harmony addiction
At first glance, harmony addiction doesn't seem all that bad. Who wants to keep arguing and messing around with others? A little addiction to harmony comes in very handy, so as not to let it get that far in the first place and instead to preserve the harmonious togetherness. In principle, that may be true decisive factor here is a little addiction to harmony ...
The dose is known to make the poison and so it is in this case too. Of course, it is good not to start an argument at every opportunity, to be lenient, to compromise and to be able to prevent disputes. However, increased addiction to harmony often leads rather more problems and is of little help in the long term.
Harmony addicts are ready to put harmony in their environment above everything else. This will make you too Yes-sayersjust trying to please everyone else. There is no longer any personal opinion, as others could contradict, criticism is banned completely, own needs are ignored and convictions are betrayed just to avoid conflicts. Addiction to harmony leads to the fact that one's own self-confidence continues to dwindle, decisions are only made according to what others might think.
In the end, harmony addicts deny themselves.
On top of that, Disagreements are sometimes just necessary to come to a common denominator or to clarify fundamental aspects. Those who do not discuss can never understand what the other is thinking or what is behind their opinions. The exchange - not always with the same views, but also critical - can create a much closer bond between people.
And last but not least will Addiction to harmony sooner or later always disappoints. It is simply not possible to avoid every single argument, no matter how hard it is tried.
Addiction to harmony in management positions
By the way, bosses are no exception when it comes to harmony addiction. Perhaps quite the opposite, as superiors are more likely to find themselves in a situation in which they have to mediate. Most executives just do it no fun criticizing an employee or to make decisions that have unpleasant consequences for him. Praise is much easier: after that, both are happy. However, there is a dangerous pattern of decision making behind this.
Currently at Positions with managerial responsibility Harmony addiction can therefore be particularly difficult.
Managers who are addicted to harmony know that they are their employees challenge and encourage because they have heard this formula a hundred times. You know, that Quality comes from tormenting and occasional admonitions as inevitable as edifications are necessary.
Nevertheless avoid unpleasant conversations wherever they can: they gloss over, generalize, become vague and hide behind the indefinite "One should maybe ..." instead of saying in plain language "I want that…" (Or more precisely: "I expect you to ...").
Such leaders to lead but not her manage at most. And hardly anything discredits them faster and more in the reputation of their employees and colleagues.
Of course there is also the other type of chef: control-mad, choleric sun godswho can do everything better, are therefore never satisfied and have something to complain about in everything. But they are less common.
Much more common are those bosses who critical words always avoid where they should be heard by their people most urgently. These nice bosses are the worst!
- You divide kindness by responsibility and fairness from sincerity.
- They seek their advantage first instead of that of the company and primarily strive for recognition and sympathyinstead of the best performance.
It's a dangerous one weakness, and it makes them extremely vulnerable to blackmail.
In a world of work that is getting stronger and stronger Team playBased, communication and creativity is honest Feedback indispensable. How else are people supposed to develop? Even if it is only that they learn to deal better with criticism.
Imagine a group in which an employee is constantly making big speeches, but hardly realizing any of his bold visions, while everyone else is slaving away for him. The colleagues see that, the boss sees that - and everyone expects him to do something about it, Tacheles talks, confronts the underperformers and distributes the work fairly. But he is silent - for fear of the conflict, of the thick air afterwards and the reproachful look of the misunderstood visionary.
How long do you think it will work this well?
Sooner or later the air will still be able to cut, the real one Top performers will say goodbye shortly after productivity. And the bosses will certainly think their part too: test failed ...
Every manager should make it clear that they are not getting paid to win a sympathy contest. Of course, colleagues should respect and appreciate their boss, but they usually do that on those days when he honestly does not evaluate your performance. So what?!
When the colleagues basically feel that their boss is out Sense of responsibility out and with a sincere desire to promote it, then the anger will be gone in the next few days. The services will improve sustainably - and last but not least, the boss will also work on this Mini crisis be grown.
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